A grasshopper walks into a bar and orders a beer. After a few minutes, the bartender sidles up and says, "You know, we’ve got a drink named after you!" The grasshopper replies, &...
A woman was walking down a street and noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. As she walked by, she asked, "Hi there Sir! I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look...
Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican. They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons.The leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. ...
A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "Miss, can you tell us your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for ha...
Driving to the office this morning on the highway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Corvette doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting ...
You know you are a teacher if... -You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free." -You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever ...
A blonde died her hair brown because she was tired of being frequently picked on. She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm. She asked the farmer &...
A Duke was hunting in the forest with his soldiers and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow. "Who is this inc...
At an international conference for women’s rights, three women gave speeches. The first speaker, a lady from England, stood and said, "During last year’s conference, we spoke abou...
Actual Newspaper Headlines 1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 4. Drun...
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help. 2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. 3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fen...
25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O.J. Simpson 24. THE ENGINEER’S GUIDE TO FASHION 23. TO ALL THE MEN I’VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres 22. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALIT...
At a recent computer show, Bill Gates compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be ...
-The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your son runs past you to catch his 7 am school bus. -The remote to the TV is missing...and you...
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver’s license? Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th...